Dependent

Another one of my "flaws." I become so dependent on the people I'm with. I don't do good alone. Like right now.

Mike and I finally talked earlier. He got back from camping last night. Hungover and tired, he didn't say much. He told me that he wants to make it work. But to me, he isn't acting like it. This is killing me. He's not answering my calls. Probably cause he left his phone at home. Why is he doing this? Ive been punished enough. How am I supposed to prove myself if we don't talk? I can't even enjoy my time with my son. I'm depressed most of the time. Every time the phone rings, my heart jumps. Ends up being stupid telemarketers. Why do I do this to myself?! I don't blame him for being upset. But he's completely changed. Is this a test? Or does he really not want to be with me?

Don't get me wrong. I LOVE being with my son. But I miss Mike SO much. I wish I could be with them both.

Then, on top of everything else. My ex's mom is getting worse. During the day, I'm stuck in the house. I kinda get angry. Then he comes by and updates me on how his mom is doing. Which is never good news. I feel so selfish. I'm so consumed with what's going on in MY life. I sometimes forget the reason why I'm here. That's another thing I have to work on, being selfish. The world doesn't revolve around me.